I'll admit I'm usually the one in the group who's single. Not by circumstance (that I can't find a man), nor by choice (I don't need a man), but the fact that after a while my patience grows thin and I just say eff it. A great thing when talking about keeping my circle positive and negativity out, but a bad trait when you're talking about wifey material. It's the staying power that I've got to master; and I just haven't yet... until recently.
So the guy I've been with has been going on five months now, which (sadly) is a "great running" for me (please don't laugh or shake your head at me- I'm in training, ok?). What I noticed that attributed to our still going strong is that I kept my business (our relationship) to myself (out of the public). And that's not hard to do for me. I tweet all day, I post comments on Facebook all day, I text all day, but no one reeeeally knows my business, and I like it that way. I talk about random things, but seldom personal things, so people are constantly "in" my life but not really IN my life- you get it?
Anyway, I digress. So, my take on things is this: within what I call the "initiation phase," also known as the "infatuation phase," I thought it very important to keep my business about the new man in my life to myself. Now, occasionally I may make a comment about love or men or relationships, but because I'm known to be random no one really knew that I was referring to a particular person. GOOD. That's what I was going for! The first three months are very critical to a relationship, I would even go further to say the first six months, because that cute "infatuation phase" I was mentioning earlier tends to fade around or about month four or five.
Within the first few months, two individuals need to take that time getting to know each other- without the extra outside influences, negative or positive. Our friends do tend to see things that we don't see, which can hurt and help the situation, but sometimes you need to test the waters yourself before you go jumping in after someone says "It feels good." And sometimes we just really need to evaluate whether something feels good because it feels good, or it feels good because its new.
I operate on these little things called vibes. And while some may think it myth, and some call it hit-or-miss, my woman's intuition tends to lead me very accurately for the most part. If I have a feeling about something, and act on it, I'm usually much better off than had I gone with my second thought. That gut is a serious thing, I'm telling you! That little force inside of you isn't always gas- sometimes its truth screaming at you, and you'd better listen!
So I kept me and my new beau a "secret" of sorts. My closest friends knew I had someone, but they didn't know who exactly. On the other hand, I wasn't trying to sneak around and not be seen with him either. Eventually it got to the point, around or after month three, that I was more comfortable with people knowing what was going on in my love life. I'm still not blasting it with a bullhorn or tagging pictures of us together, but if someone asks what the deal is I won't hide it either.
This is just a mini lesson I've learned in the pool of love, that sometimes you just have to give yourself time to feel each other out- alone. I don't know what the future holds, unfortunately my intuition only goes so far, but I do know that for right now I'm happy and I'm thinking future with him, and that's something I haven't had/done in a long time.
The moral of the story is sometimes its better to keep your business to yourself. Even amongst friends. Because at the end of the day, its really you and him (or her) that matter.
No comments:
Post a Comment