The Fact of the Matter

I have to get something off my chest because I think it's necessary and long over due. I'm having a hard time today, because its my mother's bday and I don't have her here to celebrate it. I don't know which is harder, her birthday or her death day, so I may be venting in about a month or so as Sept 6 is the day I lost her.

Now forgive me for not coming off as the usual sweet, charismatic, air of positivity as I usually am, but its one thing to act like you're OK, its another thing to be it. And since writing is my scapegoat I must air what I feel is necessary to broadcast.

Someone asked me am I not ashamed to say my mother passed from AIDS, I mean "to EVERYONE"? I don't understand where the lack of sensitivity comes when talking about dealing with or losing someone to AIDS. Some confront diseases with a double standard, that somehow a person who dies from Breast Cancer is a victim, but a person who dies from AIDS is an outcome. No life is any less precious than the next. And no one on this earth is a saint, if you are you are to be impailed, spat at, beat up, and nailed to a torture stake 'til the sky turns dark. Agreed?

I think its far time to stop attributing people's situation with judgment. We've all made mistakes in life, some we can move on from, some we can't, but none we can take away. I like to think of my loss as an opportunity, not as a cause for solace or sympathy. Because my mother is not here I am upset at the act, but not the person, that introduced the disease to the person in the first place. No matter what the story may be of how someone contracted the deficiency, the importance is to learn from it, spit out the ignorance, swallow the truth, and move on to be light and not a castration.

I firmly believe that we all have it in us, somewhere, to be stronger than "society" allows our thinking to stretch. That no matter the taints we're faced with in a photo, clip, or video, we can see through to the significance of a matter and accept that without exposure we are all ignorant and therefore susceptible to the same fall.

I can't change the world, but I can change my actions and re-shape my thoughts. I'm saying what I'm saying as a message of necessity, not to preach as though I'm self-righteous or superior. Age does not make us wise. Age makes us older, and therefore we should be wise as with time we should learn, but the two are not synonymous. Experience has made me wise, and I'd feel less than complete if I didn't voice the knowledge that experience has taught me.

Let's not judge. Life is too short not to live, and too essential not to get something out of it.