Love in the office. Yay or nay? I would go with NAAAAAAAY, all the waaaaaaay. Send up the flares, ‘cause this boat is goin DOWN!
Okay, but seriously. I used to date a guy I worked with, and since then I’ve had a rule – I will not date anyone I work with. It just gets too personal, too sticky, and sometimes, too uncomfortable. I have seen a few successful ones, but for the most part: leave it out of the work doors.
Work is one of those places, for most of us, that we will be present at least 8 hours a day, for 5 days out of the week. Now you can love your boo all you want, but in my eyes I think there’s a fine line to draw with me-time, and work should be one of them. Not only do you have to be your professional self, which can get challenging if you’re not able to pull yourself away from affection or pet names, but I would think a person should just want a space where they don’t have the potential obligation of their partner in their cubicle all the time.
I’ll tell you a little story to explain my work-boo chagrin.
The guy I dated was in the same building as I but not the same department so there was a little room for caution. We were both extremely protective of our personal lives, and agreed to keep it to ourselves. Our secret remained hidden for as long possible. We would ride to work together but not go in together, meet for lunch somewhere off work grounds, talk discreetly and never mention anything about after-work, but you can only hide something for so long without someone being privy to your business, even if you’re a trained CIA operative gone undercover. It’s just how people are.
So naturally, someone eventually assumed our undisclosed connection. She just so happened to be the nosiest person in the office, who was constantly looking for someone or something new to dig into. She confronted me on the matter, to which I pretended I was completely oblivious of course. She then asked my then boyfriend, but neither of them cared for or liked each other too much, much to my convenience, so the beans never officially got spilled. Not officially. She went on about doing her “work” anyway… and that had nothing to do with our client files. To this day there is no doubt in my mind she was responsible for churning the rumor mill.
It’s one thing for coworkers to know your inter-office relationship because you decided to share the news. It’s another for them to know about it and you don’t know they know, but rumor has it so everyone “knows.” Conversations get awkward. Eyeballs are constantly shifting and adjusting to make face-to-faces more comfortable. Both sides want to say something, but neither knows where to start.
Like I said, it gets sticky. And if you already don’t like where you work, adding one more thing to make it that much more unpleasant sends you over the edge.
He and I kept up with our normal charades, even though at some point we both sensed the whole office knew what was going on, but supposed “What if everyone doesn’t, then we blew our cover for nothing so we might as well continue.”
Thankfully, my position there was a temp job and I was gone before going to work became embarrassing, but I will always remember the way I felt.
In some workplaces, romantic involvement is frowned upon, but I know that more secretive relationships occur than are recognized. For one, I could care less if two consenting adults who also happen to work together decide to explore non-agenda related items in their free time, but I say do so with caution. As with any relationship, once you cross those lines you can never go back. Ever.
So, live and love responsibly folks! We only live once, that we know of.
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